Today is my last day in my twenties. That feels weird. Don’t know why it feels weird, it shouldn’t feel weird, but it does a little bit.
I wonder if 24 year old me, who had his head in the clouds and big dreams of making lots of money through real estate investing would be proud of me for all but abandoning that effort after realizing it wasn’t making me happy.
I wonder if he’d be proud of me for taking a step back to focus on doing what I actually want to do. Giving myself the freedom to do so instead of waiting until I crossed some arbitrary “Financial Freedom” line. Or would he be mad at me for letting silly, frivolous things like Surfing, Skating, and Snowboarding get in the way of the efforts I was making to be free to… Surf, Skate, and Snowboard?
I don’t know, but I do know I became tired of beating myself up for missing two board meetings in a row. I don’t think that has happened since I started that endeavor. For whatever reason, I was just not feelin it yesterday. And it rained pretty much all day in Block Island on Monday.
BUT, I did not let my last day in my 20’s slip away without riding. For that, I am happy. It’s a little beacon of light in an otherwise meh week. My birthday is tomorrow and I wish I was happier about it. Is what it is though.
All morning today I felt the urge to move my body and go skate, but I was resisting. I’d put my butt into gear to grab the bag of Pirate’s Booty or the Pretzels and hummus. I’d constantly pick up my phone and succumb to the scroll. None of this was deliberate, but it was action nonetheless.
Finally I hit a point were I couldn’t take it anymore. I just needed to give myself what I wanted, because I wanted it. The sun is shining today and September surely is going out with a bang. I grabbed the surfskate out of my car and launched myself down the street.
The breeze felt great, and slowly scrubbed away the feelings of awkwardness or doubt about my decision to skate.
All I wanted was to make a few turns, so I hung a left on Goodwin place and started to carve. It’s definitely fall, now, so I was dodging sticks and leaves and acorns in the street. At first I felt myself react: oh great… the road isn’t smooth like I like it, just go home.
But no, I didn’t cave. And just as quickly as that thought popped into my head, I was having fun dodging the bunches of acorns and bits of twigs. Eventually I hit a clear patch of pavement and made the big sweeping turns I wanted.
A fun little session. Did it cure my funk? No. Am I still freaking out a bit about turning 30 tomorrow? Yes. But, I’m glad I got out and made some turns nonetheless, because making turns in a funk is better than just being in a funk.